Life Lesson 2: Patience

Car rides with Casey are probably the hardest part of my job. When Casey was born she had a web over her trachea. She had it surgically removed to breath but the doctors were unsure if she would ever speak. Fast forward 21 years...she never stops talking, laughing and making this noise (which she knows she's not supposed to). I had to learn to be a listener. Being with Casey is just a series of nods, alrights and okays. This has proven to be my biggest struggle with Casey. There have been my snapping moments when I'm driving and just tell her to be silent for two songs. If I'm being honest I snap at Casey quite often. When Casey is talking you have to listen very intently to understand her. In the car we have music going, Casey talking and me a 17 year old driving. We could be the poster driving situation for distracted driving. This makes me very stressed driving and sometimes have to just turn on a song to drown her out. Except for one song. Casey loves the album called The Point by Harry Nilsson. As soon as I play that song she stops talking gives me a chuckle and begins to dance. I am at ease. Although the songs are way overplayed in my car they lead to the least stressful driving situation. Listening and being talked at by Casey has taught me a lot about patience. If you're struggling with being patient with a person try to remind yourself of their situation. Every time I snap at Casey she just says okay and listens to me which makes me feel bad for snapping. I snap when I forget her situation. I snap and I forget that she has special needs and doesn't understand the social cues of annoyance. So in order for us to be patient with one another I had to learn how to have that patience for the both of us.

I am human and needed to learn how to make car rides less distracting and more calm for our safety. This is when we went to staples and bought a green notebook. With this notebook we started learning new songs. It takes Casey longer than most to learn a song so every car ride I would pick one song and play it over, over and over again. She would then journal the name, artist, genre and her rating of that song. My goal with this is to

A. help her learn a variety of songs and gain a love for music

B. help her to find out what type of music she enjoys and

C. help car rides be less stressful for me.

Casey does well when given a task so when I say “learn this song” she will listen intently rather than taking over it like most times. Patience is a life lesson I learn from Casey on the daily. With a hard to understand girl that never stop talking patience is something I had to learn.

Not everyone has special needs so when I took this life lesson in the real world application I thought for a minute and remembered the importance of context. Many times people argue and get annoyed with others quickly. But next time this is about to happen to you try to stop and think about their situation. What else is going on in their life that may have caused them to project their hardships on you. Situations and context are key things to remember when trying to be patient with someone. For me that situation and context is simply that Casey doesn't know better and can’t pick up my hints to be quiet. With my friends their situations may be an argument earlier in the day with their parents that they are still upset about. Patience is a hard lesson to learn and a lesson I’m sure everyone learns a little more about everyday. I'm just thankful for Casey teaching me extra early about patience so I can be a better friend to everyone.

Application Challenge: try your best to avoid letting your frustration be taken out on someone else and be patient with the small annoyances.